Ella checking her data
I don’t know if this happens in other households or not, but I have noticed somewhat of a theme happening in the Madhouse lately.
I’m calling it the good day/bad day principle.
I have noticed that whenever the children have a good day (reasonably calm behaviour, agreeable attitudes and steady temperaments) it is invariably followed by a very bad day (hot un-controllable tempers, fighting, arguing and difficult behaviours).
I don’t know why this is but I have a few theories.
Firstly, I have wondered whether the kids use up so much energy trying to fit in and do as they’re told on a good day, that the overflow of this mental exhaustion trickles into the next day therefore causing it to be a write off?
And secondly, I wonder if the amount of trouble that they seem to get into on bad days leads them to try harder the next day and the vicious circle keeps repeating!!
I’m not saying that my kids are any worse than any other children out there but I can usually tell within the first ten minutes of any given day what I can expect for the next 12 or so hours!
My kids really are great most of the time and I can honestly say that even on their worst days – they are mostly manageable. But I’m still baffled as to why????
It’s not always as clean cut as 1 good day / 1 bad day…..there can sometimes be a few good days followed by one bad day or several bad days with a surprise good day thrown in (which is always nice!) but there is usually some sort of predictable pattern.
I am thankful that my children do present very differently to each other on bad days though.
Harley is (and always has been) by far the most vocal and draining child. He screams, hits, pinches, bites, sulks and cries. Lucas whines and whinges but at the moment, it’s Ella who is concerning me the most.
It sounds great right?
Well…yes, she’s definitely quieter and less demanding but there is a real danger of her shutting down so much that she becomes unreachable.
Yesterday, she spent over an hour walking around in a big circle in Mum’s courtyard counting her steps with a pedometer and measuring the calories that she has burned.
Sounds hilarious I know….I laughed too at first, but now we are into day 2 and she’s at it again.
Her and Harley had a sibling fight in a coffee shop over the most ridiculous and insignificant thing this morning, a lemonade bottle!
They both reached for the same one (even though there were 3 of them and they were all identical) I told her to let go of this bottle because Harley was starting to lose it and it wasn’t worth setting him off into a full-blown meltdown.
I reminded her that because she’s 11, that taking the higher road would be wisest as it was the path of least resistance and that she wasn’t going to miss out anyway.
Well….cue the pre-teen silent meltdown! I got the dagger eyes, the pouty mouth and the sneer and she promptly picked herself up and walked over to another table and turned her back to us.
All of this was done silently.
I have tried several times in the last couple of hours since, to talk it through with her unsuccessfully. She has completely shut down and pacing is all that she seems to be able to focus on at the moment.
She is counting, adding and analyzing every step. She stops momentarily to inform me of how far she has walked then goes immediately back to the pacing.
Around and around and around in circles.
Over and over and over again.
It still amazes me that friends tell me that they can’t see any aspie in her.
Oh well, at least tomorrow is set to be a good day based on the pattern that has emerged this holiday.